What I learnt at the Museum of Sex

1. That Amazon Ducks have spiked, 45cm long penises that dangle down into the water like obscene, angry fishing lines.
2. That a monkey's scrotum becomes less blue whenever it loses social status.
3. That the first vibrators looked like electric mixers and were sold as "beauty aids" in the Sears catalogue.
4. That one of the most controversial children's book of recent years tells the true-life story of two gay penguins who raise a chick form an abandoned egg.
5. That deer enjoy threesomes.
6. That snake pit orgies can contain 15,000 writhing reptiles.
7. That Paris Hilton looks annoyingly good in her sex tape.
8. That sea lions deliberately undershoot when they're jumping through hoops because they like the sensation of brushing against them.
9. That female monkeys, even when they're not in heat, partake in gg-rubbing, where they rub their swollen genitals together until they display signs of orgasm (clenched feet, grimace, howling).
10. That lurking around the dark booths of gallery two (Sex on Film) on your own is liable to make you look like a pervert. Even amongst people who choose to spend a sunny New York afternoon in the Museum of Sex.